Hollis' Transition, going home

7-21-06 ~ Namaste,
I want to thank all of you for your prayers and healing angels, we have felt their presence :-) boy, I have no idea where to begin, I have so very much to share, some miracles and amazing healing, my daughter Holli Renée' made here transition on Friday July 7 at 9:17 pm, from a accidental drug overdose. Before I arrived her precious heart gave out and she was brain dead. What a free spirit she is, a warrior, as a child she loved wonder women :-) At the young age of 30 she lived more life then we could in 5 lifetimes :-) for sure :-) and a very pure  heart :-)  and what a great laugh, she made all around her laugh :-), I will truly miss this.

As I integrate back in more ( it all seems like a dream),  I will share the 4 conscious communications I have had with Holli.  I knew that I  would be assisting her, I didn't have to ask, I didn't want to ask, it was like a given, and I thought oh God, not my own daughter ?  I have assisted many home, but never thought I would help with one of my own daughters. I didn't think I would be able too, I was too emotional, but on my way to Calif. I was praying to be overlighted with the angels to assist me, in what ever it is that I needed to do, to give me the strength, courage and faith to get through this and to help the family. I'm so very proud of my daughter Joadi,  she's doing good, honey you hang in there. Ron,  Holli's dad is taking  it pretty hard, and thank you Gayle for all that you are doing with the arrangements etc for Holli and thank you,  Joadi  and David, :-)

Joadi and Ralph picked me up at Burbank airport ( thank you dear earth angel Ralph for all your help with my room and meals, and I will share the meditations I had daily at my hotel in their gardens with water falls ) and we went straight to the hospital. I needed to see Holli, she was in the morgue, as I was rubbing her beautiful hair, I could feel that she was in the room, I asked to speak with her directly or her soul, immediately I heard this smirky voice ( totally Holli ) say, Hi Mom, what are you doing here ?, and I gasped, looked to the right and up at the ceiling as if to see her, but didn't,  wondering to myself, oh my God she doesn't know, I said I'm here to see you Holli, she said why ? why am I  so confused ? what happened Mom ? and I told her what had happened that  her body was dead, that she had taken one to many pills, then it went silent, I thought she was gone, then she said, mom I'm so sorry, please tell everyone I didn't do this deliberately, I didn't, and  please forgive me, I'm so sorry.  I said that I would and I said I love you honey and I honor your journey and choices and I forgive you, then she said please tell Zoi ( her 8 year old daughter ) when I was asked, what was the best thing about living, I said my " baby Zoi", tell her mom, and I said that I would, ( and I did ). I also explained to Holli what I knew to be her next steps in this transition, she then faded out in her voice, and Joadi and I said the Lords Prayer and I asked for a lock of her hair :-) it just amazed me on how simple and easy to was to talk to her. It was all very natural, after all this is what I do and have for 17 years, no, it is who I AM :-) YES !

I got to spend more then 5 hours with my granddaughter Zoi and have made a wonderful re-connection. I'm telling you there is no better word then "GRANDMA " :-) thank you Holli  for this wonderful gift of  pure love and life, Zoi :-)

I had been talking to Holli for over 3 months almost everyday, trying to help her work through the pain in her heart. She lost her partner Rick a few years ago, he died in her arms, and  she did realize that she started spiraling down at that time, this was just 2 weeks ago, and  she said that she would talk to a great friend of mine in Calif. who is also a healer, one I trust, counselor and has a center, Brook Still, thank you Brook for talking to Holli, I do know it helped her at the time Hun :-) Holli and Rick were true soul mates, like I have never seen before, the pain in her heart was to great, the same hospital, and same room, both of them made there transition and both were brain dead, Boy does that say something :-)
it has been my saving grace to have these few messages coming from Holli, TRULY.

I will be flying back to Calif. Friday August  11, Sat. the 12 we will have Holli's ashes scattered into the pacific ocean as she requested ( she lived on the beach at Redondo beach ) and Sunday the 13 we will celebrate Holli's life :-) and have a party ( as she requested ) :-) and I will be back on Wednesday August 14,( This will give me 2 days to hang out  with my daughter Joadi  to get to know her and her me :-) ) we all wanted to wait for Holli's grandmother, Darlene to get out of the hospital for she could be there to :-) and she out :-)

I want to thank you Jeanette for the wonderful healing that you gave me when I returned home, it allowed me to sleep for the first time in 8 days and thank you too for the printer. I desperately needed one, my printer and copy machine have died, and my pc is on its way, its 10 years old and has served me well but I need it to keep serving me well :-)

and Jill thank you for the wonderful massage yesterday, and I have a message to  share with you about that too, just need to be with the energies of it a few more days :-)
and thank you Dawn for the healing you will be doing on me tomorrow. I'm asking for healings now and I need several massages. I have stuck energy and do have some anger and guilt that I need to work through.

I also finally have clarity on why Namaste hasn't sold. It has been amazing since I have come home. I literally feel angel hugs constantly, enveloped in their energies, like I have never felt before, and was told to swim in the healing energies of Rock Lake daily and I have been. I know without a doubt this is the only place that I would feel safe enough to go through this difficult time. Namaste is my saving grace thru this too. If we are patient, we are usually always told or shown why something is happening, now I know why Namaste hasn't sold, I needed to be here to heal, so I have  told my soul thank you, and please I would like to be out of Wisconsin before winter hits. :-)  I  have always trusted the divine will and plan of God.

and thank you so VERY much Nancy for coming here to my home, Namaste and taking care of Inue for me on a drop of a hat. I could not of went to Calif. the first time if you didn't step forward, I thank you Dear One :-) bless you

I'm tired, and have much more to share and will in a few days,
wanted to thank you all again,
also, I have canceled and will reschedule when back from Calif. the all day workshops, I just can not hold the focus and energy for full day workshops, not yet.

 Thank you for your patience and understanding while I get through this and heal.

I am taking a limited number of private appointments daily. I have been able to hold the energies for theses :-)  I need to get the abundance exchange to travel back to Calif. Aug. 11-16, airline tickets, food and room.

Any contributions and donations are greatly appreciated and needed  at this time, and are a tax deduction, we are a 501C3 organization, or if you have any frequent flyer miles you would like to help with, and gift certificates are available for any amount, I thank you all.

 Inue is hanging in there, she could no longer get up the back stairs, so I built her another ramp for the front steps :-) and I asked her, not to make her transition at this time, only if its what she wants :-) just don't think I could handle that right now.
more to share later,  love you all and thank you, Kari and Inue http://www.namaste-wi.com  and  920-648-3580 and 920-988-3636

I have been asked by my soul and spirit to share my life experiences,  as these will help others. I AM  a teacher through experience. To me there is no greater teacher then life itself. Here are a few that have benefited from me sharing my experiences.  Kari

Dearest Kari,    I just wanted to express to you that my thoughts and my prayers are with you now Kari, as you go through this very sorrowful time. I was deeply saddened to hear about your daughter. You had spoke before during classes that Holli was having a hard time, and I know that you did everything you could to comfort her. Love is the strongest emotion that we human’s posses, and it does not end when our lives here end. I wish you lots of comfort from the Angels and Michael, as you go back  to California to celebrate Holli’s life.

You are a special angel yourself  Kari, and I hope you find comfort in the energies of Namaste and all those whose Lives you have touched. You are such a giving person, and I hope that you know that you are loved by many. You are a true divine teacher, and have helped many find their spiritual path and guidance. I only hope that now, we all whom you have helped, can help you and envelope you in our loving arms, to give you the strength and courage to continue through your wonderful soulful path. You have truly touched my heart, and opened up a world of knowledge for me, and I can never thank you enough.

I am sending you a check for $50.00 to use as you need it. Please accept it with the love and thankfulness that I send it to you, for all that you do for mankind, to make this world a better place. You are a real lighthouse among the storm of life, and I cherish your friendship and guidance. May God and the Angels be with you always, Much Love, Wendy Brown Haddock

8-1-2006 

Namaste, Thank you once again for all your prayers, cards, contributions, healings and wonderful calls, it is all so greatly appreciated, true friends and family,

" Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly"

Thank you all for being my friend. Please forgive my slow response to all of you, and for not sending Thank you cards, it will get better :-)  I pray with the Grace of God Creator. 

My server has been down for 4 days, so if anyone has sent me any PERSONAL messages, please re-send them, thank you, I will be going back to Calif. from Aug. 11- 16 for the spreading of Hollis ashes and her celebration of life party, Julie will be staying here full time taking care if Inue and Namaste, she will have Namaste open on its normal days and times on Friday 3-8 pm and Sunday 1-6 pm, thank you so very much Julie, you will have a wonderful time here in these energies, REALLY -) and to go swimming in Rock Lake, the water is amazing at this time -)

Before I finish my experiences with Holli I want to let you know that the workshops have been re-scheduled, ( see my web site under the events page) I have been doing my private readings etc with no problems, thank you for your patience. If you would like a private session, please email or call me :-)

Also we want to thank all of you for your continued prayers for the situation in the middle east.

Now, I will share with you  my life experiences through this difficult time in hopes that these experiences will help you, others and of course, continue to help myself -)

I am so very grateful to have had so many conversations these last few months with Holli, I learned more about her in these few months then I have in her 30 years of life, we talked about everything, we laughed and cried and even talked about spirit or God/ Creator, Holli truly believed that there was a higher or greater power and she felt that it was an all forgiving God/Creator, she really did, Im so grateful to have had the chance to share this with her -)

The late afternoon of July 6, I received a call from one of Hollis friends Wayne, I was outside watering my gardens and found a message that he had left on my answering machine and he said " This is Wayne I met you this weekend through Holli. She is in the hospital in ICU and I need you to call me and talk to the doctors immediately. I have the number to give you. My work number is xxxxxxxxx, Just ask for Wayne".

I immediately called him back, and he explained what had happened to Holli, I called the hospital to find out first hand and then I had to call the family, no one had been informed but me.

After seeing Holli in the hospital,  my daughter Joadi took me over to Hollis home and there were flowers, shells, candles etc all around in her honor and as I turned around there was a FEATHER, ( a dove feather ) now all of you who know me, knows that this is a sign for me, and as I picked it up I smiled and remembered that Holli LOVED doves and pigeons, she even had many when she was younger, I silently thanked spirit for this gift, it was directly in front of Hollis door -) and yes I still  have that feather -)

I spoke in the last message that I have had several communications with Holli and I have, I would like to share those with you now ( below is the first message from Holli in the hospital )

The day before leaving Calif. I received a message ( while meditating in the Hotels gardens ) that Holli wanted me to meet her at the beach behind her home and I agreed, I was hoping my daughter Joadi didn't think I was too crazy but I told her that I needed to go there before leaving, she gracefully agreed to take me, we stopped and got some of Hollis favorite flowers, gerber daisies and sunflowers to throw them in the ocean for her, as we approached I could sense her energy, she thanked me for showing up and told me how much she loved me, while I was throwing the flowers in the ocean I was telling her how much I loved her, that I would always love her, here and beyond and I could feel her energy being pulled back, I really could, then she was gone.

There was one thing that I have always  wanted to share with Holli and that was Namaste, in her last few months we talked a lot about it, I was hoping to remind her that good things can happen to people if they try and if they make the right choices, meaning, me, I wanted to be a good example. I used to be on drugs, and drink a lot etc. but, I was trying to remind her that through my choices I came out of it, yes, sometimes it was difficult, but I made it and if I could SHE could. Holli was very proud of how I got my xxxx together. I constantly would remind her that she always had a choice, ALL WAYS ! I did try to get her to come to Wisconsin several times but she wouldn't, for one reason or another.

On my second day from coming home, I was doing my walk about as I do every morning with Inue, communing with nature etc, and as I was near the sweat lodge I heard this Hi Mom, and it came from behind me, I was thrilled that she had come, she said,  I knew that it would mean the world to you if I came to see you and Namaste, Mom its beautiful, she said that she has never seen so many angels and fairies in one place before, Im so proud of you Mom, see, I told you I would come and see Namaste and then at that second she said, I gotta go Mom and I felt her energy being pulled back again.

This has been my last communication with Holli , but, I do know that there will be many more to come -) We have this agreement -)

This difficult experience has forever changed me, and without a doubt. I cant even find the words to express the shifts in my heart and consciousness. I can tell you though, that I ABSOLUTELY KNOW and with out a doubt that Holli is not dead in spirit, her soul and her spirit lives on. I have experienced this, and for this my dear daughter Holli I thank you . It has made my soul purpose even more driven and dedicated in all that I AM and in all that I can be and do to help others to understand this process of losing a loved one and through similar situations. I now have a drive LIVE so strong. :-) There TRULY is LIFE after the death of a physical body -)

And this brings me to a great experience with my daughter Joadi, she is a heroin addict and hasn't used in over 4 years, not even through  Joadi losing her only sister, was she tempted. Im so very proud of you Joadi. Joadi invited me to one of her weekly meetings and I said yes, I wanted to see what was helping her so much, and as she spoke of losing her sister only a few days before,  she said to the group and with such a strong conviction, "and I want to live, I want to live " . And at THAT moment, I knew that she would be okay and I thought to myself, Thank you Joadi , I want to live too.

I have also seen the best and worse in people with this situation, this entire experience was and is so very strange for me, to try and stay out of the fear and guilt and wanting to share with all how it really is -) or at least to share how I see it all and the knowing and understanding through my eyes, heart and my God knowing -)

And to Hollis friends and family, please KNOW that this is not exclusive, me hearing from Holli, YOU too can, when YOU are ready. Holli will be there and she promises NOT to be LATE -)

I intend, accept and now receive and do dedicate my experience with a new matrix to and for the entire collective for the future, one, not of death, or guilt, anger or fear, but one with GRACE, for the Spirit within us ALL, will forever live on -) We do not die. And, As a mother, teacher and student of many many life lessons, please take heed to this message,

I want each one of you who is reading this message ( and send this message to others ) to make Peace and to Forgive that SOMEONE that you need to today, for tomorrow dear ones many never come. Don't live by, I should of ( regret ) and if I would of done this or that. LIVE for today, LOVE for today, FORGIVE for today and BE that Grace and Peace TODAY. And with intentionn, I will continue to hold these new energies and the new matrix for humanity of Grace, Love, Peace and Forgiveness, WHY ? because it is who I AM and it is who YOU are.

Thank you for all your love and prayers, and thank you all who have showed up to help me in my healing, I still need more massages and energy work ?

It has been AMAZING how Rock Lake has become such an important part of my daily routine of healing, I swim in it DAILY and the water has brought me such grace, peace and healing. I spoke to you all in the last message ( below ) that I had received a massage from Jill, I can now share with you Jill what an amazing healing it TRULY was -)

During my last visit with Holli, she took me to where she worked as a massage therapist ( with doctors ) for a massage and for cranial sacral work, she even re scheduled a few appts. to get me in, well that massage was one of the MOST amazing ones I have EVER had. Holli had a very special touch. When I got home I was told that I needed some massages to help release from my body, the old paradigms and beliefs in guilt, fear, and death connected with this experience, So, I REALLY knew that something might take place during this massage, due to the fact that remembering the massage with Holli was so very clear in my consciousness. And as I laid there, saying my prayers I IMMEDIATELY felt Hollis presence, it was HER energy without a doubt coming through you Jill, and this is ONE of the VERY first times that I wanted to stay in my body, I wanted to feel Holli once again, now, I told Jill none of this, or that Holli was a massage therapist, or anything and when the session was over Jill said " you know Kari I was told that as a healer that I too can receive the healing, but, until TODAY with you, I can honestly say that for the FIRST time I FELT that I too got a healing " Now, that was all the confirmation I needed -) thank you Jill for letting me to once again feel my daughter Holli through your loving hands, -) I will be forever grateful. Kari

Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep.  I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.  I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the mornings hush. I am the swift uplifting rush.... of quiet birds in the circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. My spirit did not die.... by mary frye